7/52 The baker

A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, for the 3rd year of his life. 

7_52webAnakin: Waiting for the bread to rise. We baked chiabatta for the first time one morning. You sampled a bit of flour which made you pull a funny face. A first experience. Perhaps there’s fewer of those left than we think. The firsts and the lasts. We take so much joy in the firsts, but the lasts somehow slip our grips as we’re too preoccupied with moving on. Today might have had a last without me even knowing it. There are some lasts I dread, some I hope never come. The last time I get to hold you tight in my hand as we cross the street or you say ‘sit in your arms’, or the last time we do our special good night games. The last time you say ‘I love you NOW’ and I reply with ‘I love you ALL THE TIME’. 

Perhaps tomorrow I’ll spend trying to see just what’s there instead of looking towards what might come after. 

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13 responses

  1. Love the portraits of your son. He seems to have fun taking them as well!

    February 9, 2014 at 10:56 pm

    • Thank you! Occasionally he’ll get really into it, but he’s still too young to have the patience for any set up shots, so mostly they’re fairly candid snaps. I work with staged photography so this is good practice for me working with someone who refuses to follow instructions. 🙂

      February 10, 2014 at 10:15 am

  2. erindove81

    Mercy fell asleep nursing the other night, like usual. She looked so beautiful I snapped a quick blury too dark pic.
    Little did I know that would be the last 😥
    So so happy I have a photo of that most special last.
    New baby due in 16 weeks so I’ll be starting a whole bunch of firsts all over again. I’m so stressed I will be too busy to notice all the firsts/lasts with two children.
    Anakin is such a lovely little chap. He has grown so beautifully and I’ve really enjoyed following you both this past year.
    🙂

    February 10, 2014 at 1:54 pm

    • That is the nicest thing I’ve read in a long time! Thank you, Erin! 🙂 I really enjoy it when you take the time to say a few words. I can only imagine how that last would have felt. Did she just stop on her own? I’m glad you got a visual memory of it despite the dark and blurry. I am trying to gently wean Anakin myself and it’s not working. I am not ready to take away something he holds so close. Or I hold so close. But there are days where it drives me up the wall.

      Congratulations on the new baby coming soon!! 🙂 how exciting!!
      Maybe this time around you’ll notice different firsts and lasts, but I have no doubt that while you’ll be busy and perhaps won’t notice them the same way, I am sure there will be plenty of them you’ll be able to savour.
      xx Dida

      February 10, 2014 at 9:05 pm

      • erindove81

        The weaning process was very long. I started night weaning her in perpetration for the new baby however she has stopped herself now. If I offer she says No! And roars at me like a lion 😥
        My milk pretty much went by about 12 weeks so that helped. She also goes to daycare now two days a week so that keeps her busy. Has Anakin gone to daycare at all? I highly recommend it. They have so much fun. Costs an arm and leg mind you lol.
        I gently helped mercy wean by only nursing at nap and bed time (or if she hurt herself,was upset, or tired tantrum lol) other times I offered a drink and a cuddle and said MiMi (nursing) at bed time.
        During the night is another thing all together. I would let her nurse for a few mins (it became so uncomfortable!) then count to ten, say bye bye boobies, Ta, then she would generally roll over and go to sleep. If not she would have a bit of a cry. If it lasted more than a few seconds if give MiMi back and do it all again in a min or two.
        After a week or so of that I stopped offering at night and just said bye bye boobies. She sometimes cried and still got it, other times wound just go to sleep. I found rolling over so she was at my back helped, although I never ignored her.
        All of a sudden she started sleeping 8,9 or even 10 hours in a row!
        She’s 21 months now and must be having a bit of a growth spurt so is not napping and waking at night but I consider it practice for the new baby.
        There is a book called The no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley, I found that helpful. Also Dr Jay Gordon has a method of night weaning. I’m against sleep training as such but modified their methods into my own slow, gentle way. Honestly though I think having no milk just made it not worth waking up anymore. And goodness me 8 hours sleep is heaven!
        Thank you for the congratulations. We are expecting another girl.
        Gosh this comment is as long as the original post sorry.

        February 11, 2014 at 8:06 am

  3. Don’t apologise for engaging, Erin! It’s such a one way ordeal, the whole blogging. I love it when people engage!

    Anakin stopped feeding at night when he was around 1. We used the no cry sleep solution too! It’s a great book. It seems our feeds are more about the cuddles these days than anything else. He’ll stop and say “There’s no more milk” very often. I have a feeling it will come to its natural end very soon so I’m just rolling with it. I love breastfeeding, but it’s become a bit uncomfortable of late. The really hot summer hasn’t helped. But right now I am just trying to make sure I enjoy every last one because one of these days it will be over and I have no doubt I will miss the closeness of it. Thank goodness for co-sleeping!

    February 17, 2014 at 1:56 pm

  4. I love this portrait, Dida. It caught my eye over at Jodi’s link up immediately. The name of your blog has totally roped me in – it’s fabulous. Very pleased to meet you. x

    February 20, 2014 at 9:43 am

    • Hi! Thank you for your kind words! I thought after naming our son after a character in Star Wars it would only be appropriate to follow through in the naming of the blog.

      Lovely to have you drop by! xx

      February 20, 2014 at 12:30 pm

  5. What a handsome little baker you have there! I know how you feel about the firsts and lasts. On the flip side, I find myself, camera in hand too often trying to capture EVERYTHING that I’m not a part of what’s going on. I finished two 365 projects last year…following my two around with a camera every single day….my three year old hated me taking his picture. So a 52 is so much more manageable for me! Great thoughts!

    February 23, 2014 at 10:05 pm

    • Thank you! I know how that feels too! I did a 365 last year as well, it was a lot of fun, but I think I prefer the weekly. Easier on everyone. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to do two of them! I still take an enormous amount of photos, but that’s just what I do. Since having less time to practice my art I seem to compensate by making sure I still stay visually oriented. And I really love having such an extensive visual record of his childhood. I’ve gotten really good at recording as well as participating. The camera doesn’t get to come everywhere and when it does I make sure my focus is where it needs to be. Most of the time at least. 🙂 x

      February 24, 2014 at 7:42 pm

  6. Such a gorgeous photo and your words bought tears to my eyes, it’s so important to remember all these lovely little things and precious moments as our babies grow.

    February 24, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    • Thank you! It scares me to think of all the truly wonderful things we’ll eventually forget unless we record them. I try to record films too because the thought of not remembering what his little voice sounds like when he sings or laughs breaks my heart.

      February 24, 2014 at 7:45 pm

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