I’m supposed to be doing a million things right now, but I just can’t get something out of my head… or my heart.
What do you do when you’re faced with unimaginable grief?
The past few months things have happened that have made me cherish what I have just that much more and really cemented a perspective on things. While we complained about tantrums and broken sleep, bickered about house chores and shopping, someone was watching their little one fight for his life, and he lost. After only just arriving, he was gone.
I can’t imagine how devastating that is. I only know that as a peripheral bystander I was shaken to my core. And just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes and my heart bleeds.
So what do you say when you’re faced with someone filled with unimaginable grief? When you don’t want to stir the waters, don’t want to cause any additional pain, but you still want to scream
I’M SO TERRIBLY SORRY!!
But sorry doesn’t even begin to cover such a tragedy, it fails on all levels, and you can find no words
of your own.
This was a life that had hardly begun
No time to find your place in the Sun
No time to do all you could have done
But we loved you enough for a lifetime
No time to enjoy the world and it’s wealth
No time to take life down off the shelf
No time to sing the songs of yourself
Though you had enough love for a lifetime
Those who live long endure sadness and tears
But you’ll never suffer the sorrowing years
No betrayal, no anger, no hatred, no fears
Just love – Only love – In your lifetime.
(An amazing poem written by Alberto Caeiro, one of Fernando Pessoa’s heteronyms.)
Before I had you
I loved Nature as a calm monk loves Christ.
Now I love Nature
As a calm monk loves the Virgin Mary,
Religiously (in my manner), like before,
But in a more heartfelt and intimate way.
I see the rivers better when I walk with you
Through the fields to the rivers’ banks.
When I sit next to you and watch the clouds
I see them much more clearly.
You haven’t taken Nature from me,
You haven’t changed Nature.
You’ve brought Nature closer.
Because you exist I see it better, though the same as before.
Because you love me I love it in the same way, but more.
Because you chose me to have you and love you
My eyes gaze at it
More than at anything.
I don’t regret what I was before,
For I am still what I was.
I only regret not having loved you before.