This week saw the first really hot days of summer here in Melbourne. It’s not too bad if you’re outside in the shade or somewhere that stays cool indoors, but second floor bedrooms quickly become boiler rooms on 30 degree days.
For some reason there isn’t an air conditioner in Anakin’s bedroom. Our bedroom has one and the office has one, his being the only upstairs room without ac. Usually this isn’t a problem because his room is on the shady side of the house, but then again he hasn’t been sleeping in his own room during summer before. When he was born and we had ridiculous temperatures he was still sleeping with us.
Needless to say this has created a couple of impossible afternoon nap scenarios. Even with a fan blasting away in there all day, it was still stinking hot. Anakin sleeps in a Peke Moe (a sleep sack that covers his hands). It’s the only way we got him out of the swaddle a couple of months back. But even in just a nappy and his Peke Moe, he was rather hot and bothered, and frankly, who can blame him.
So… today I had a minor mummy meltdown after the nap battle had raged for 1,5 hours and I had used up everything in my get-Anakin-to-sleep arsenal. It wasn’t fun and it made me feel pretty shit. The worst thing about it was that once I screwed my head back on, put Anakin in his pram, took a walk and finally got him to sleep, I crashed emotionally. Having a minor meltdown is bad enough, but then crashing afterwards because you had one is just another punch in the gut. And you’re the one punching yourself. So I spent a good hour dragging my feet, kicking myself, feeling like the worst mummy in the whole world, waiting for him to wake up so I could make up for it. Nothing bad happened during my meltdown, but my frustration got the better of me and I made him cry. It didn’t help that I didn’t get much sleep last night and hadn’t had a break all day either, but that shouldn’t excuse anything.
When Anakin woke up though he couldn’t have cared less what happened before he went to sleep. He was all smiles and kisses as per usual. He loves me all the same, meltdown or not. Thank goodness for the loving hearts of babies. As for me, I made sure to shower him a bit extra in kisses before bedtime, and, as always, tell him how much I love him before he went to sleep. I can’t say it will never happen again, but I sure hope it doesn’t for a very long time. I may have to face the fact that I am merely human despite my every effort to be as perfect a mummy as I possibly can be.