Breaking silence

It’s been a bit quiet around here hasn’t it? With the exception of the 52 project there hasn’t been much going on here of late. Believe me, there’s been plenty going on, just not here.

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At first it was a matter of just not having time to write and process images as I was getting down to crunch time for my Masters degree. (Now how that all wrapped up is another story.) As you can imagine juggling being a stay at home mum with writing a thesis and creating a large body of work is a huge workload. On top of that I was slowly trying to get a micro business going of handmade kids clothes. (Still working on that one.) What little time there was left I needed to just catch my breath and to spend with my family.

But as the year went on and winter hit my silence was also grounded in other reasons. Every year, around the same time, I seem to retreat and have a bit of a stock take of my life and the people in it. And this year I finally decided it was time to let go, of old hurt and the people who had caused it for so long. I started a process of pulling some people closer while letting others go. I was growing tired of feeding certain relationships that only went one way.

And the blog became part of that process. Through sharing intimate looks into our lives I was enabling some people to feel connected and informed without having to give anything back. For the most part I’m ok with that, but for a time I needed it to stop. I needed to just let some bridges burn and stop fighting an uphill battle. So I started to hold back. A lot. Some weeks it was easy, others were hard.

But recently I’ve come to realise that I am losing more than I am winning. This blog isn’t mainly about sharing thoughts and images with you or with everybody else, it’s about us. Its main function has always been to document our journey as a family, for better and for worse. It’s to make sure there is a story for Anakin to discover and hopefully cherish as he grows older, it’s for me to remember the little things, the big things and to reflect and look back on. This is our story. This is our document.

Everything else, everyone else who reads it, enjoys it or cares about it is just a bonus. A good bonus, but not why it exists in the first place. And so as major events were unfolding I was losing by not documenting it. As was Anakin and my partner.

So I guess you could say this is me telling myself to get on with it, to get back to winning and not sit by watching burnt bridges turn to ash. There are many chapters I need to get to, things I need to process, things I feel a need to share and have wanted to share for a while, but I guess one thing stands out as needing to be said first. Of all the secrets we’ve kept, and we’ve kept it from most people, this is by far the biggest one.

 

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Our little (or not so little) baby bump is 20 weeks and kicking up a storm. We are over the moon about this little person joining our family, due late January.

 

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We weren’t planning a big announcement of any sort and it’s been nice to have such a gem of a secret, only shared with a few close friends and loved ones. And I’ve really enjoyed sharing the news with people as we see them or talk to them as opposed to shouting it from a rooftop for all the world to hear. We kept it close and personal.

But as this most likely is my last pregnancy and this blog also is this little persons’ document there are too many things to say and to photograph to keep quiet. Neither could I hide from the camera forever.

 

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So here it is. Our little big secret, not so secret anymore. And we’re loving it!!

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13 responses

  1. Tina =)

    Ajaj, korr arti! =) Thanks for sharing, Dida! =)

    September 11, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    • Takk!! 😀 Noen hemmeligheter er enda bedre når de endelig deles!

      September 14, 2014 at 6:35 pm

  2. Congrats! I’m so happy for you. Can’t wait to see more of your adventures!

    September 11, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    • Thanks, Carrie! We’re just over the moon about this little one.

      September 14, 2014 at 6:36 pm

  3. Huge congratulations ! I did wonder where’d you’d been. I have been silently watching and reading your blog for a long time now.

    September 12, 2014 at 2:59 am

    • Thank you! That’s very nice to hear. 🙂 I’ve been itching to write for some time now, but I just needed to get over that hump to find my way back. xx

      September 14, 2014 at 6:37 pm

  4. I, too, have been following in silence, feeling a little naughty for enjoying such beautiful moments without having to contribute. When you revel in the wonderful stages and achievements of your family, we ‘watchers’ celebrate with you. Whether it’s because we’ve adored those moments in our own lives, or we’re looking forward to a time when these moments will be ours, your pictures and words show others how to cherish every moment.
    Congrats on the Masters but super congrats on new bub. What a secret!

    September 12, 2014 at 8:25 am

    • Thank you for your kind words and well wishes! I too am guilty of being a silent watcher a lot of places for those very same reasons. It’s definitely nice to occasionally hear from the “other side’ of the screen too. I’ve missed the blog a lot and I hope to make up for that soon. I’m great at keeping secrets, but some secrets are even better when they’re shared.

      September 14, 2014 at 6:41 pm

  5. I’m beyond thrilled for you and your growing family!! You look beautiful pregnant, Dida. Wishing you good health and rest for the next 20 weeks.

    September 12, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    • Thank you, Anka! I feel great except for being tired and achy. I hope there will be lots of rest too. It’s so busy with a toddler and we’re getting married in December with lots of overseas visitors so I’ll be crossing my fingers (and my legs) for a bubba that stays on the inside until the due date, ten days after the last departure. Might be too optimistic, but I’m hopeful.

      September 14, 2014 at 6:45 pm

  6. What a great secret! Congratulations! Anakin will be a great big brother. xoxo Fanni

    September 12, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    • Thank you! I’m so excited! I loved pregnancy the first time and I’m loving it the second time too.
      Anakin is very gentle and loving with babies so I’m sure he’ll be great. A bit jealous, but really good. 🙂 xx

      September 14, 2014 at 6:47 pm

  7. Hipp hurra! Så fantastisk! Gratulerer med alt det gode – masteren og babyen, er det ikke herlig når livet folder seg ut (og kanskje særlig etter en periode med hard jobbing)?
    Jeg ønsker dere alt godt der på andre siden av jorda.
    Stor klem (og skulle gjerne vært i dine sko)
    fra Maria 🙂

    September 14, 2014 at 7:58 pm

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