A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, for the 3rd year of his life.
Anakin: I’m not sure we’ll ever outgrow the joy of blowing the seeds off old dandelions while making a wish. I hope we never do. You’re still too young to understand what wishes are, but I suspect you’ll discover them soon.
I live for moments like these. After a rather intense period of total rejection of your pappa you finally let his hard work pay off and let him back in. Your punishment was as brutal and loud as it was honest. He had to win you back and you kept testing him. And last Saturday it was as if it had never happened. You took his hand instead of mine on the way to the playground and your face lit up with smiles and laughter as you played on the swings together. You finally trusted that his full attention was yours, that he’d keep you safe and that was all that mattered. On the way back this happened and my mummy heart skipped a beat as I hurried to capture the moment before it was gone.
The past month has really knocked us around. Even more so than the last few months did before it. We’re entering week three of being sick and it doesn’t seem to want to let go of us just yet. It’s the first time in a long time that I’m starting to feel snowed under. It’s been an intense year and I’ll admit to have days where I’m not sure exactly how to put one foot in front of the other anymore, but we do. And moments like these are the fuel that make us keep it all going. And despite it all I am still in a happier place than I have ever been. Because even big things become small when you know that at the end of each day you’re going to be surrounded by what and who you need the most. That is my shield and that is my armour to keep on fighting until we catch a break.