After all, the best thing in life is boobie.

(The following is an imaginary interview with my 14 month old son, based on real events.)

Me: So, Anakin, tell me a little bit about what’s been going on lately.

Anakin: Well, mamma, as you know I’ve been going through some things. I believe you taller people call these phases wonder weeks. I’m not sure why because there’s not much wonderful about them. Things are just plain confusing and I guess you could say I have a new information hangover of sorts. My brain hurts. That’s probably why I keep waking up a night.

Me: Your brain hurts? That doesn’t sound very good.

Anakin: Well, that’s just stating the obvious, mamma. It didn’t help much either that you took me to that horror house where that witch stuck me with a sword three times on Wednesday and tried to kill me while you just sat there singing like a bloody idiot. As if singing was going to save my life! I was lucky to even make it out alive.

Me: You mean your vaccinations? Those are necessary to keep you from getting really sick. It’s for the best, I promise. I would never let anyone try to kill you. And it wasn’t a sword, it was a needle. Swords are bigger.

Anakin: Wasn’t big enough? Looked like a sword to me. You say all this now, but I saw no such action at the time. But I’ve figured out a cure for everything.

Me: Really? For everything?

Anakin: Yes, everything. It’s simple really. If I’m cranky, boobie. If I’m sleepy, boobie. If I’m happy, boobie. If I hurt myself, boobie. If I don’t get what I want, boobie. If you think I’m busy playing, boobie. Just after boobie, more boobie! The best thing in life is boobie. Whenever, wherever. Boobie, boobie, BOOBIE! Don’t think for one second I don’t know where you hide those things.

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Me: I’ve noticed, but don’t you think three times a day is enough? I don’t mind feeding you, but sometimes you hurt me. Couldn’t you at least lie still while you eat and perhaps finish before you do other things?

Anakin: That’s where you get it all wrong, you see. It’s not all about eating. I own you, and lately I think you need reminding of this. So I try to spice it up a bit, after all it’s a lot of boobie. I try to dance while I eat, I sing and talk and just hang out. Sometimes I like to bite a bit and to play with them too. And you seriously need to stop packing those things away until I say it’s ok. I read that wonder week thing on your phone too and it said that during this phase you should be expecting me to want boobie all the time. You just put up until I say so. And that thing you tried today, undressing and showing me your boobies, but not giving them to me even when I cried really loud? Not cool.

Me: I was taking a shower. Didn’t you get some after? And you just had milk followed by lunch anyway, you were in no real need.

Anakin: That’s not the point! Do you think it’s fun to make me cry? I shouldn’t have to cry to get my way. Now, lift up your shirt before I rip it off, it’s boobie time!

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6 responses

  1. hehehe! hjelp som jeg kjenner meg igjen 😀 Har ei skikkelig boobie-fan jente på 22mnd jeg, og nå som hun nettopp var syk et par uker var det bare “BOOBA” som stod i hodet på henne. Hun har fått et utrolig personlig forhold til dem, og nå når vi synger morgensangen vår så lyder hennes versjon slik “Mamma er her, pappa er her, Storesøster er her, Lillesøster er her, BOOBA er her JIPPIIIII!”

    March 8, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    • haha.. herlig! det hender jeg synes det er litt slitsomt å dra frem puppen hundre ganger om dagen, men det går stort sett greit. Det varer jo ikke så lenge og jeg er mer opptatt av å nyte det så lenge det gjør det. Har ikke hastverk med å kaste’n vekk fra puppen, vet jeg! 🙂 Anakin har bare akkurat begynt å synge og det smelter meg helt. Han prøver å synge hei, boogie, boogie, boogie, men det blir mer hei, ndi,ndi,ndi. Kills me every time. Gleder meg til det kommer litt mere!

      March 9, 2013 at 10:18 am

  2. 🙂
    I am not sure what “wonder week” is…
    And Timothy is pretty ambivalent about boobies now. I nurse him twice a day and he always is happy to have some milk, but he never asks for it and I am pretty sure won’t miss it were I to stop… but I can’t – until he stops refusing cow’s milk!

    March 9, 2013 at 2:15 am

    • Wonder week is a term a couple of dutch doctors came up with to describe the mental developmental leaps a baby goes through in the first 20 months of life. These leaps occur at specific times. Each leap is accompanied by more or less difficult periods where the baby is crankier, clingier, has interrupted sleep and appears more hungry amongst other things. Every time Anakin seems to regress or is particularly cranky/clingy for more than a day or two, and is otherwise well, it always coincides with a wonder week. (They last anywhere from 7 days to 4 weeks.) And soon after he’ll master new skills. I’m sure it varies a lot from baby to baby as to how much it seemingly bothers them.

      Anakin is a boob freak these days! It’s more a comfort and control thing than anything else, but he still feeds 3-4 times a day with the additional (what feels like) billion mini feeds. I think he’ll breastfeed for a long time.
      I’m not good at offering him cow’s milk on a regular basis. He gets it on his cereal and he eats cheese and yoghurt, but as his regular drink he still gets water. It’s got more to do with not having enough straw cups than anything else. If I put it in a normal sippy cup I’ll have milk all over the place, like the other day. 🙂

      March 10, 2013 at 9:42 am

  3. HAHAH… Oh Anakin, you are too funny. I laughed till my eyes welled up reading this.

    Og deg da Dida – for en supermamma du er 😉

    March 9, 2013 at 10:24 pm

    • hehe takk for det! Jeg har lurt på om jeg burde lage meg en kappe. Mest fordi jeg alltid har hatt lyst på en. Men da må jeg jo komme på en logo eller noe først. Kanskje en pupp? 🙂

      March 10, 2013 at 9:43 am

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